THE POWER OF COMPASSION

  

By Silvia Uribe

We all tend to think that we are the center of the world, the most important person, and of course, we feel we are the only one who has problems, who suffers, and we find it very difficult at times to navigate through life. We stop enjoying life just because we’re focused on our problems.  

Frequently, we complain so much, that it becomes our norm: we don’t have enough money to buy enough stuff to compete enough with our friends, and even with our enemies. We complain about how we look, about our hair, about the dress size we cannot fit in, about our house, our neighbors, and about where and how they park. We also complain about our friends, and about our work; about our short eyelashes, and about not being able to buy a newer car. The list goes on.

In short, we forget to live, and we consume ourselves with negativity.

I don’t usually write about my private life, but when talking about compassion, it has to be personal to illustrate its effects and results. 

For the last 10 years, life has given me the opportunity to be close to vulnerable individuals who are, or at least feel, very lonely. With those who think that their bad luck will never cease, and they seem to be right. With those whose sadness has found a way to settle in their souls, and despair seems like the only thing alive within them. Many of them are individuals without resources to make their life better, they lack options at that point, and perhaps they never had them. Many of them did nothing to deserve what they got. One can say they’re victims of their circumstances.

To some, it sounds a bit illogical for me to say that working with and around these individuals is an opportunity.  People I know often perceive it more as a challenge, something that, due to the emotional charge involved, they would not be able to do. My close friends know that I see it as a meaningful, relevant thing to do, but most of them also think they couldn’t do it, if offered the option.  I disagree. It is, not as hard as it seems. In fact, it is not hard at all.

Compassion is the secret. Compassion gives us a chance to relate and help other human beings, and to see how relatively little effort on our part it takes to make someone’s life a lot better. This is an encouraging experience. But, as altruist and romantic as this sounds, it is not the main reason why I think being compassionate works.  The right question would be:  What’s in it for the one who is compassionate? And, the answer is: A lot.

Compassion gives us the opportunity to put things in perspective.

In my case, I realized that my life was as easy as it can get, even though I have my share of minor troubles. My family life, with all its ups and downs, is strong and stable. I have a constant income, and a place I call home. My body is not perfect, but it definitely works much better and is healthier than many of those with whom I work on a daily basis.  I have good friends, and I’m able to spare a little money to have some fun with them. When I came to the realization that compared to others’ my life was so much better, I stopped complaining. I started living a purposeful life, and up until now, I enjoy every minute of it.  I am thankful for all the good I have. The words need, and pain, and life, and justice suddenly acquired a new, and a very real meaning, and compassion was not only a word anymore. It became a way of living.

However - and this is very important - what I understand for compassion is very different from pity. I believe that compassion speaks more to the personal feelings and attitude that one has towards other people and their circumstances, and pity is more a diminishing impression of another. With compassion, we can put ourselves in the shoes of the other, and imagine how we would feel in their situation, and this is usually a humbling experience. This is what helps put things in perspective.

Practicing more compassion towards other fellow human beings has done more for me, than whatever I’ve ever been able to do for them. True, I may have assisted them, but they have changed my life for the better. By being focused on someone other than myself, unexpectedly, I became a happier, more thankful person every day of my life.

That’s the power of compassion.

What's Your Wish For Goleta in 2012?

Goletans Sound Off

By Silvia Uribe

Happy New Year to you all! We are in January, and in the wake of this new year, I can hardly believe that we are in 2012. For most people, the New Year represents predictions of what is to come and resolutions to accomplish — once again — what in the past has already proven to be just a bit less than impossible. Losing weight, becoming a millionaire, buying our dream house (or at least the car that we think we deserve), or even sending our job (and our boss) to hell are among the most popular desires expressed every New Year. The most optimistic may think that this is the year when we will start recovering from this seemingly never-ending recession. Others, in agreement with the ancient Aztec culture, predict that this year will be the end of times.


But, for most of us, whatever we think the new year represents, it is for sure a time to renew our commitments, to think big, to dream of all that we want to see happening in our lives, in the lives of our loved ones, and, in general, of what we want to happen around us. No more wars, a lower cost of living, increased living standards, lower unemployment rates, the possibility of a salary increase, a nice vacation for the family, a cleaner environment, and justice for all. The thought alone of the possibility of achieving these wishes gives us the hope of a better, more comfortable, and more enjoyable future.

With this in mind, I did one of my non-scientific surveys and asked random Goleta residents of different ages and occupations, “What’s your wish for Goleta in 2012?” In no particular order, these are the responses they offered me:

A vibrant downtown. A cross-town shuttle stopping every 15 minutes. Better lighting around Cathedral Oaks. Coordinated traffic lights at The Glen Annie overpass. Kmart staying in town. The view of the mountains and agricultural land to not be blocked. A sign telling drivers that there’s a continuous right turn at the southbound on ramp at Glen Annie. Fewer sexual assaults in Isla Vista and a friendlier I.V. Foot Patrol. Agricultural land to be preserved.

People were not shy in expressing their wishes:

The Goleta Community Center to become City Hall. Another Elephant bar at the Camino Real Marketplace. No more construction on the Goleta Bluffs by UCSB. Visible signals at the on ramp of the new Winchester Overpass (which is very dangerous at night). A local newspaper and radio station. For the Hallmark store to stay in Goleta.

Very creative ideas were offered:

For the Kellogg Project to become the “Kellogg Community Sharing Grounds,” where community members can share once or twice a week their own produce, their thoughts, their news, and their concerns, and get to know their neighbors and elected officials on a personal level. The historic gas station at the end of Hollister to be restored for tourists to visit, obtain information, and buy souvenirs. To identify rooms in the city that community members can use free or at low cost for meetings. For City Council to offer Spanish interpreting services at their meetings. To have a space at the airport dedicated to exhibiting memorabilia of the marine base that once was there. For new constructions to be self-sustainable.

Always present, of course, opposing opinions on some well known issues like Bishop Ranch and Target.
And the most mentioned wish is one that I would have to agree with: Activities for kids 13-18-years-old to do after school and during weekends.

Here we have quite a comprehensive list. And, although I’d say not everything seems possible to accomplish in one year, at least some things seem quite viable.

We’ll see who's listening.

Have a great year my fellow Goletanos!

Free Expression with No Reservation

First Amendment Applies to Religion, Too

By Silvia Uribe

This season, we’ve heard a lot of conversations regarding the expression of religious beliefs. One big reason for the revival of this old discussion is Tim Tebow, Denver Broncos quarterback. He kneels down right in the middle of the field and makes hand and head gestures that unequivocally show that he is a believer.
Many criticize him, arguing that this could make some people uncomfortable. Some believe that this is an imposition of his faith upon those who don’t share the same beliefs, or any religious beliefs for that matter. Is that so? Hardly.


When someone openly displays his or her faith, it is not a signal that others have to follow suit. The only expectation is that they will make a connection with the higher power they believe in. They are exercising their freedom of expression. That is it! His reasons for doing it so publicly? Your guess is as good as mine, but I truly think it is none of our business.

Is there any valid reason to take that freedom away from him or anyone? Perhaps non-believers have nothing to express in this regard – but surely that should not remove others' right to express their faith.

If we extrapolate this reasoning to a completely different realm, it would be very difficult to make any sense of it. Consider, for instance, if those who have no car, because they prefer walking, were able to force others not to use their car either; or if, because I choose not to buy in Wal-Mart, others were not allowed to get in these stores. You get the idea.

This time is different from the Inquisition time. Today, most believers have no problem knowing and accepting that others may be agnostics, or atheists. Why should agnostics or atheists have a problem accepting the fact that others have a faith? I am convinced that in the same way no one should judge, or impose action on others, no one should impose the absence of action either.

To each his or her own, and everyone should be able to act, as far as religious matters go, in the way they feel most comfortable, without having to please anyone else.

URGENT CALL TO IMMEDIATE ACTION!!!

THE NEWSCAST "NOTICIAS COSTA CENTRAL"  IS GOING OFF THE AIR LEAVING THE LATINO COMMUNITY IN THE DARK, AND ISOLATED FROM WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE COMMUNITY

Make a call, and write tomorrow to Entravision’s Owner and CEO Walter F. Ulloa.

Tell him that you oppose their decision, and ask him to reconsider.

We need the support of the whole community to prevent this from happening!

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Walter F. Ulloa

Entravision Chairman and CEO

2425 Olympic Boulevard Site 6000

West Santa Monica, CA 90404

Tel: 310-447-3870  Fax: 310-447-3899

Email: wulloa@entravision.com