A QUARANTINE PERSONAL EVALUATION…

By Silvia Uribe

I’m sorry to say this and go against the current, but I am quite content being quarantined. I’m healthy, don’t get me wrong, and I’m not dying of fear of becoming infected either, but I’d like to remain healthy. I do get around, every now and again. I like seeing what’s going on “out there.” I like talking with family and friends over the phone, on FaceTime, and seeing some of them, very few, in person. I work from home most of the time, but if I leave my fortress’ safety, to exercise or run to the store I cover my face and wear gloves, as the scientists advise. So, if I have to evaluate my social distancing is at an 85%, and I’m content with that.

I must say that the “out there” that I mentioned, seems a bit outlandish. The empty streets with mostly empty commercial spaces give an eerie feeling. However, every tone of green of the trees is greener, the sky appears brighter (either because I have less chance to look at it, or because there is less pollution, or both) and these things give me joy. The view of the ocean is completely unobstructed and the sense of calm, due to the abundance of birds singing, and the lack of car noises, is like a river of peace. 

However, there is one thing that disturbs me more and more, as the days go by. Face masks. As necessary as they are, they make me sad. Why? It is simple. I miss your face! I may or may not know you, but I miss your face. With the masks we are faceless beings, moving from place to place, with no expression; making lines at stores with no identity that we can account for. We look cold and... generic. If, on top of wearing masks, we wear shades, it is even worse. I cannot see the expressions that your eyes convey. I cannot see the human being inside you at all.

I miss seeing my fellow humans, and I’ll be fully content when, after the quarantine, I can see your face again, with the peace of mind of knowing that both of us will be ok.

Teleworking, is another thing I love. I must admit that working from home is quite different and has its challenges. But c'mon! isn't it great to not be rushed in the mornings? I have been a proponent of this for years, and for years I encountered a myriad of nay-sayers. Today, the world is finally understanding that most of the things we do in the office can be done from afar, and in much less time. I feel validated. 

And finally come the concerns that I have: Other than those who contract the virus, of course, are the small business owners. Those who have put all their money and dreams in their venture, and they might lose everything. And their workers that relied in their now nonexistent jobs; their families, that not being able to have a steady income can’t pay their rent, or buy food, or clothing… I have the tendency of getting very anxious about things like these, things that I cannot change; because they are way over my scope of influence. So, I immerse myself in whatever I can do, like cleaning my closets of unused items and donating them to those who I know need them. And, volunteering for an organization that offers financial resources to those who can’t get any financial relieve from anywhere else. This makes me feel that I’m doing something to contribute. We all can do something. If you have a sense of impotency, I invite you to help someone you know, in any way you can. We all know people in need. We know who they are. Reach out. Don’t wait until they come asking for help. Helping others is the only recipe I know to finding satisfaction, and contentment during uncertain times. 

As for the things I cannot solve, I do my best to pray that the situation won’t get as bad as I fear, and then I put my head in the ground, as a self-preservation method.

Please, stay safe.

A STAND AGAINST INJUSTICE.

By Silvia Uribe

You might have heard Donald Trump’s remarks as a “presidential candidate” regarding Mexicans, but in case you didn't, he said something like: most Mexicans in the US are affiliated with drug cartels, and that most are rapists. Whether you agree or disagree with him on his hate-based ignorant assumptions, and gross generalizations about Latinos in general, and Mexicans, in particular, you have a right to your opinion. If you agree with Trump, I hope you’re not afraid of reading on. If you’re not in agreement with him, and think that he was out of line with his discriminatory comments, I also hope that when reading this letter you analyze your own actions, or lack thereof -immediately after you heard those remarks, and even to this point in time.

I was born and raised in Mexico. Yes, I am Mexican, as Mexican as they come. I’ve been living in this wonderful country for 22 years now, and I am as American as anyone else. I love this country, my country, the USA.  When I hear the kind of ignorant remarks that Trump expressed so openly, I can very easily see that, what this country was, it is no more. Historically, the US has been a country with advanced ideas and the highest ideals. Those two characteristics were the USA’s trademark. They were also the springboard that propelled our country into becoming the power that it has, so far, been. Unfortunately, things have changed. When was the vision lost?

Trump’s comments reflect not only his own biases, but those of some people for whom the only ideas and ideals are to preserve their “cast”, which they believe is entitled to judge and make decisions for everyone because they “are better” and “know better.” They are part of the 1% who has all the wealth. They want to have everyone else under their thumb, and want others to have the least educational opportunities, so they can pay them little money. This cast wants to preserve their lifestyle at the expense of others. It seems, however, that this 1% is being successful at establishing new values for our land. They don’t have advanced ideas, or high ideals. On the contrary, they want to live in a shameful past, enjoying the servitude of those of whom they see as inferior. Individuals  who think like Trump, are the ones bringing this country down by creating such a wide gap between the ‘have and the have not’s.’ Soon, if we let them continue on this path, we will all realize that there is not going back, and other countries, with a clear vision, will take the power over.

However, I’m really writing this letter to get the attention of those who believe themselves to be inclusive, and progressive; to those good, non-discriminatory people who really appreciate others, their hard work, and who believe that everyone should have the same opportunities to succeed in life.

In the aftermath of Trump’s statements, I have observed that no allies are speaking up. Where are you? When someone makes this type of comments, you just shake your head in disapproval but comply with your silence? We know that when we see an injustice and do nothing, we are part of the problem. Unfortunately, it is easier to remain in the dark, not stick our necks out, and not be criticized. I know it. I used to do this too.

I also know that being vocal regarding injustice is risky business, but at some point in our lives we have to decide between being accepted, and putting our ethical and moral values and beliefs first. Situations like these are the perfect opportunity for us to make a definite statement regarding what we want to see in our country, and what we don’t want the US to become.

During the 60’s, and more so recently, we see individuals of all skin colors protesting injustice, discrimination and violence against our black brothers and sisters. Why is this not happening when someone discriminates against Latinos? Are Latinos the new target minority? By being silent, we are condoning  the undermining of Latinos and other discriminatory behaviors  against them. (I'm happy to report that at the time of this publication, NBC and other corporations are cutting business ties with Trump due to his racist comments)

But, regardless of Trump’s statements, I believe that it is a must that we, as Americans, hold steadfast to our values and beliefs independent of what is popular. A stand against injustice should be a permanent stand. Acting on our values must include speaking up when injustice is witnessed against any person or group, on a national stage, or at a grocery shop. Speaking up against injustice can mean interjecting, or simply discussing the matter within our circle of influence to bring the issue out in the open. Talking about selfies, fashion and entertainment is fun, but we cannot expect that these conversations will make our lives and our country better. However, justice and equality will.

WHEN LIFE IS NOT IN PERFECT BALANCE...

FOLLOW THESE 5 STEPS

By Silvia Uribe  

 

Life, in its simplest way, tends to work quite well. We wake up every morning, and start our daily routine: maybe some exercise, a shower, breakfast, and off we go, with our “magic touch” to put things around us in motion. Our family –whoever is encompassed in it –each one of them do their thing too. Our work, is no different. We know – hopefully – what we’re doing, what needs to be done, and even we know what cannot be done at a particular time, and we plan for the right time to do it.

We do this – within reasonable parameters - every single day of our lives. We count on perfectly balanced bodily functions, a perfectly balanced family routine, perfectly balanced work activities, and in general, we count on a perfectly balanced life. Until one day, in which it becomes very clear that, what we have been taking for granted, is in fact a delicate, constant balance act of us walking on a very thin thread of good luck, at a great height, with no protective net beneath us.

What are we to do if anyone in our family gets suddenly sick, and the perfect balance in his/her body doesn’t exist anymore? What if that person needs to stay in the hospital, and you have to be at his/her bedside? What would happen then to your routine, your family, your work, and your life? What if, because of this situation, you cannot plan how your next week, or even your next day will look like? In one word, what if the balance you’re so used to, crumbles beneath your feet, and you realize you are on a free fall, or at least you think you are? This very scary experience recently happened to me.

From it, I’ve learned a few things that are worth sharing:

1. We cannot predict the future – when things get out of balance, the next hour becomes a huge question mark. No matter how much we try, we cannot know what’s to come. Stop trying to predict. It is not for us to control what happens next. 

2. Stop resisting – the more we resist, the more we suffer and make others suffer. When things are not in balance the whole situation becomes foreign to us. We cannot understand it, and we don’t have the power to change it. Acceptance then, is our best bet. Accept the situation as it is, and let it go through as it will. What’s going to happen is going to happen, no matter how much we fight it. 

3. Take one day at a time – Maximize the enjoyment of each good day – not anticipating what will happen tomorrow – and deal with the not so good days as best as you can. 

4. Know that you are not alone – Trust in a higher power. Whether you call it God, Jehovah, Allah, Brahman, or Nature. You can be sure that he or she is watching over you. 

5. Reach out to your family and friends – Many of us have the false believe that we must be super-heroes, and quietly deal on our own with anything that comes our way. Well, we are not so. Ask for help to those who love you. If nothing else, tell them the situation, and ask them to call you, and cheer you up. Or, to lend you a helping hand if they can. Or, simply, to tell you that they love you, which may be just what you need to hear. Or to pray for you – sending you good vibes – since these are never excessive. Or, to distract you with their conversation – a couple of laughs never hurt anyone. 

Particularly when things are “out of whack” around us, we tend to be nervous, frazzled, and lost in our own imbalance. That’s when it is important to put the right ingredients in place, much like in a fast cooking recipe, to calm our souls and restore our inner peace, if nothing else, until the circumstances around us – whatever they may be – come to a perfect balance once again… and, they will.

THE POWER OF COMPASSION

  

By Silvia Uribe

We all tend to think that we are the center of the world, the most important person, and of course, we feel we are the only one who has problems, who suffers, and we find it very difficult at times to navigate through life. We stop enjoying life just because we’re focused on our problems.  

Frequently, we complain so much, that it becomes our norm: we don’t have enough money to buy enough stuff to compete enough with our friends, and even with our enemies. We complain about how we look, about our hair, about the dress size we cannot fit in, about our house, our neighbors, and about where and how they park. We also complain about our friends, and about our work; about our short eyelashes, and about not being able to buy a newer car. The list goes on.

In short, we forget to live, and we consume ourselves with negativity.

I don’t usually write about my private life, but when talking about compassion, it has to be personal to illustrate its effects and results. 

For the last 10 years, life has given me the opportunity to be close to vulnerable individuals who are, or at least feel, very lonely. With those who think that their bad luck will never cease, and they seem to be right. With those whose sadness has found a way to settle in their souls, and despair seems like the only thing alive within them. Many of them are individuals without resources to make their life better, they lack options at that point, and perhaps they never had them. Many of them did nothing to deserve what they got. One can say they’re victims of their circumstances.

To some, it sounds a bit illogical for me to say that working with and around these individuals is an opportunity.  People I know often perceive it more as a challenge, something that, due to the emotional charge involved, they would not be able to do. My close friends know that I see it as a meaningful, relevant thing to do, but most of them also think they couldn’t do it, if offered the option.  I disagree. It is, not as hard as it seems. In fact, it is not hard at all.

Compassion is the secret. Compassion gives us a chance to relate and help other human beings, and to see how relatively little effort on our part it takes to make someone’s life a lot better. This is an encouraging experience. But, as altruist and romantic as this sounds, it is not the main reason why I think being compassionate works.  The right question would be:  What’s in it for the one who is compassionate? And, the answer is: A lot.

Compassion gives us the opportunity to put things in perspective.

In my case, I realized that my life was as easy as it can get, even though I have my share of minor troubles. My family life, with all its ups and downs, is strong and stable. I have a constant income, and a place I call home. My body is not perfect, but it definitely works much better and is healthier than many of those with whom I work on a daily basis.  I have good friends, and I’m able to spare a little money to have some fun with them. When I came to the realization that compared to others’ my life was so much better, I stopped complaining. I started living a purposeful life, and up until now, I enjoy every minute of it.  I am thankful for all the good I have. The words need, and pain, and life, and justice suddenly acquired a new, and a very real meaning, and compassion was not only a word anymore. It became a way of living.

However - and this is very important - what I understand for compassion is very different from pity. I believe that compassion speaks more to the personal feelings and attitude that one has towards other people and their circumstances, and pity is more a diminishing impression of another. With compassion, we can put ourselves in the shoes of the other, and imagine how we would feel in their situation, and this is usually a humbling experience. This is what helps put things in perspective.

Practicing more compassion towards other fellow human beings has done more for me, than whatever I’ve ever been able to do for them. True, I may have assisted them, but they have changed my life for the better. By being focused on someone other than myself, unexpectedly, I became a happier, more thankful person every day of my life.

That’s the power of compassion.

Silvia Uribe

Silvia Uribe was born and raised in Mexico City, where she studied philosophy and Spanish literature, got married, and formed a family. Some 15 years ago, Silvia and her family arrived in Santa Barbara, moving a few years later to Goleta. Silvia is the founder and owner of Transil-Pro, a translation/interpreting company also located in Goleta. Through her business, Silvia has collaborated with nonprofit organizations, county and city governments, and corporations alike. She is a big supporter of volunteer work, which she does for two organizations every year. Silvia is also a freelance writer for both English and Spanish language publications. Whenever asked, she emphatically says, "I love everything I do, but writing is my passion."